I realized how low my self-esteem has gotten....

I was talking with my mom tonight about the perfect men that I know that are completely out of my league. She said to me... "where did this low self-esteem come from?" and it really made me start to think. I mean I know that I have always suffered from it but ever since I've been at SMU it's grown exponentially, especially this year. Every single day all I can do is look around and think how I am not pretty enough, fashionable enough, trendy enough, sociable enough, skinny enough, or anything. I think about how my sorority is not even close to "top tier" and how I work my ass off trying to convince other people including freshmen girls and fraternity boys that Alpha Chi is cool and worthy of their time. It drives me crazy. I'm so tired of having to prove myself all the time. I'm sick of boys not giving me the time of day just because of some dumb organization that I'm a part of. This school has convinced me that I'm a piece of dirt and I'm so done with it.