...I couldn't think of a title because I have too many things to say

random statements, thoughts, musings, observations...

• My life is merely an obsession with how I'm perceived and what people think about me, so much so that I leave no time to grow and be a better person. This obsession consumes me.
• I fear that I'm slowly getting stupider. Maybe it's just that classes are harder but I feel the weight of incompetence on my shoulders.
• I cannot concentrate on anything and I have so little motivation.
• I witnessed a friend of mine talking with another girl in the same car as me and I noticed that I lack the communication skills that make someone a good friend. She was sounding genuinely interested and kept asking meaningful questions. I can't remember the last time I had a meaningful conversation. Why do I talk about nothing all the time when there is so much else to say?
• Do I even have a best friend anymore? Someone to share my innermost thoughts, fears, secrets, dreams with?
• This intense love/hate obsession with food is killing me. I'm never going to feel normal about eating.
• I wish that I could feel comfortable and happy in my own skin.
• I am sorry that this blog is so emo for whoever is reading but you know... these are the things that weigh on me that I don't usually say out loud.
• I wish I had a job right now because money is getting tight and I don't want to ask my mom for more money again. I'm just so annoyed that I have to potentially buy a new tire again. And I have to have enough money to get an oil check and pay for gas for my trip back home.
• Sometimes I wonder whether I just don't do certain things for a real reason or just because I don't do them.
• I feel desensitized, meaningless and empty a majority of the time.
• Sometimes I just wish I could pack a small bag, take off to Europe and never look back. Just travel and explore the world on my own. Get lost in the wild. Rid myself of this sick society that has me tangled in it's snares.
• My thoughts and opinions and mindset feel so incredibly twisted and uncharacteristic of who I thought I was.
• I wish my dad was here for Father's Day.
• I really need to study and stop writing in here.