...I decided to breathe life back into this ancient scroll of a blog

So we meet again. Blog, I hope you can forgive me. I have been absent and unfaithful. As usual.

Right now these dismal grey walls are starting to close in on me while I remain eternally hunched over my antiquated ThinkPad with towers of yellow audit folders stuffed to the brim with Post-It-covered, highlighted packets of paper piled around me like some sort of suffocating fortress. That's pretty sums up what it feels like to be in month #5 of "busy season." Can we talk about a serious misnomer? "Season".... HA. "Season" implies that it is lasts for a portion of the year. It is supposed to coincide with winter: cold, dark, sad, and like any other "season," after a few months it's supposed to melt away and allow the flowers to bloom and the sun to shine again. Forest animals will resurface and start to sing in harmony, unicorns will start to dance, and smiles are supposed to return to auditor's faces along with pigmentation of skin. The end of March or mid-April is what you are told to fixate your eyes upon and live for. That light at the end of the dark, black-hole-esque vortex of sadness and stress. But then you get to that point where the end seems so close and the light is growing ever brighter and at that last second, to your horror, you find out that the light that you have been pining after and crawling inch by inch towards is nothing more than a train careening down the tracks whose goal is to swiftly knock any semblance of vitality and liveliness out of you and leave you in an obliterated pulp. Now you are a shell of a human who can't begin to remember what life was like before this living hell began. They keep saying to keep your chin up because the end is near, but I'm starting to think that "the end" is actually the end of life itself. Or like.. the end of ever being in shape again or having friends or seeing daylight. Reality is setting in because I'm realizing the honest to God truth of it all is.. it really doesn't ever end.

A little dramatic? Maybe. But it really does suck more than I ever thought it would. Time to stop waiting for life to start again and start adapting because this IS life now. This is what I signed up for.

Counting down the days till that week of vacation in June. Which reminds me... I really need to book a flight home.

On that note, I bid you g'day, Blog. Just know that I'm back and ready to start sharing my life with you again, even if it's shared in a not-so-cheerful tone.

♥ DoubleDeks