...I was frustrated by pettiness

Okay, I'm trying my best to stay focused on studying right now, but people and their situations keep coming at me swarming in a cloud of drama and I'm just so DONE trying to help people (who don't want to be helped in the first place). People let their pride, bitterness, and hurt feelings obstruct them from moving forward. It's so frustrating to witness. I can't really speak directly about these situations on here, but I just want to say as a general statement... It's not about who is right or wrong. It's about acknowledging other people's feelings, and resolving issues with people even if they aren't your friends for merely the sake of humanity, or even others around you. Prolonged conflict and hostility between two people never produces anything valuable. However on the contrary, coming together, finding common ground and acknowledging hurt feelings can do SO much. You can reestablish/form a new connection with someone who could ultimately contribute to making your life more fulfilling. Maybe they can introduce you to something new; maybe you can share good conversation; maybe they can make you laugh; maybe you can have one of the most fun nights of your life with them. Who knows what could come from a connection with another human being? What's the good in staying upset? To prove a point? What point exactly are you trying to prove? Take time to get to know other people, where they come from, where their pain stems from. It helps you love so much easier.

*steps off soapbox*

...I was really bad at keeping this updated

I want to start blogging again on a more regular basis. I know I always say that and I'm not sure why I make it seem like such a daunting task. I enjoy it. Not because I have an audience that looks forward to reading my posts, but because it gives me a record to look back on. It helps me understand and observe the different stages that I have gone through in my life. It gives me confidence by allowing me to see the progress that I've made and the obstacles I've overcome, all of which could not have happened without the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I used to use this blog as a my outlet where I poured out my raw and honest thoughts. It's what works for me. I need to acknowledge that about myself and stay true it.

Currently I am feeling many things. I feel nervous and anxious about the months to come. I downloaded my Becker (CPA prep course) software today and attempted to formulate a clear self-study plan and became slightly overwhelmed. There are so many factors to consider. I want to get these 4 parts of the exam out of the way as soon as possible AND pass on my first try, but I worry that my anxious attitude towards finishing will create a heavy and unnecessary time crunch that will ultimately completely rush me and stress me out. If you have ever seen me really stressed, you know that it is not a pretty sight. Also, my test taking abilities plummet when I start to panic.

I know that what works best for me is to a.) allocate a sufficient amount of study time b.) stay on schedule in order to combat my tendency to procrastinate c.) study with other people so that I can ask them questions, work through problems together, talk things out, and have people to keep me on task (as everything is done on the computer where the Facebook monster lives). What is concerning me most right now is that the person I was hoping to study with got her materials before me and has already done a significant amount of work. She is also planning on taking the tests in a different order than I wanted to. I decided to not do the in-class review course because I was going to have people to self-study with, but now I'm worried that I made the wrong decision. I know that worrying does nothing for productivity so today I'm going to try going through one of the first lectures. This is going to be quite the journey in front of me, but hopefully at the end of summer I will have the letters C-P-A at the end of my name and a nice bonus check to show for it.

Time to clean my room and get some things done!